Gary Martin: Navigating an office crush? Think carefully before acting

As Valentine’s Day approaches, if the thought of playing Cupid as a secret admirer to a colleague has crossed your mind, it might be time to snap the arrow and let professionalism take the lead instead.

What was once viewed as a romantic gesture feels out of place in the modern workplace, where affairs of the heart can quickly become headaches.

It is no surprise that people develop affection for colleagues.

Shared goals, regular chats and extended hours together provide fertile ground for romance to blossom.

Yet even fully disclosed workplace romances can create complications ranging from perceptions of favouritism to conflicts of interest — and secret admirer antics only magnify these risks.

The anonymity and ambiguity of such gestures can sow discomfort, mistrust and even distress to make them especially problematic in professional settings.

From love notes discreetly tucked into desk drawers to anonymous chocolates sweet enough to melt hearts, secret admirers in the workplace have long found creative ways to show their affection.

Some orchestrate grand gestures like bouquets delivered with flair, hoping to plant seeds of love. Others keep their efforts subtle with handwritten notes or small, thoughtful tokens.

In the modern workplace, acts of anonymous affection are dubious at best and unacceptable at worst.

Shadowed signals of sweetness introduce an air of mystery that can quickly shift from hearts aflutter to hearts uneasy.

An admirer might dream of a workplace romance blooming like a rose though their actions often plant seeds of discomfort, leaving the recipient to navigate thorny questions about motives and intentions.

There are also the ripple effects to consider — office gossip, speculation and distractions.

A seemingly innocent gesture can spiral into a soap opera and pull colleagues into a tangled web of curiosity.

Workplaces thrive on trust and transparency.

By stepping into the shadows, they blur the line between sweet and suspicious and turn what might have been a romantic gesture into an unasked-for guessing game.

Any critique of secret admirers being deemed inappropriate will likely be met with claims they are another casualty of the so-called “woke world” or cancel culture, which have seen traditions replaced by over-correction and sentimentality stifled by scrutiny.

But the reality is the secret admirer is, in many ways, simply a relic of another time.

While the sentiment behind such gestures has been well-meaning, the execution — anonymity — is fundamentally at odds with the values of today’s workplaces.

Whether it is Valentine’s Day or any other day, the workplace is far better suited to collaboration and mutual understanding than to mystery and intrigue.

When it comes to secret admirers, Cupid’s arrow is best aimed outside the office.

Professor Gary Martin is CEO of AIM WA and a specialist in workplace and social trends