Anxiety Aunt: Help! My tactless friend keeps making inappropriate comments, is it time to ditch her?

Dear Aunty, I am starting to see a good friend of mine as a bit of a liability. She is a very nice and warm person and people like her a lot, at least initially, but she can also be very blunt and tactless. A few months ago I took her to a work function and she asked my manager when she was due to give birth but my manager isn’t pregnant and she wasn’t impressed. She’s told friends I’ve introduced her to that they should exercise more and cut out carbs, and told another she was too old to be considering having a third child and should just be thankful for the two healthy kids she has. The woman isn’t even 40 yet and I know she was devastated by what my friend said and I spent a lot of time apologising. I really don’t know what to do. She is lovely in every other way but I am starting to think that I should rein in our friendship or at least only see her one on one. What do you think? Yours, Embarrassed Dear Embarrassed, My dear, your Aunt can truly empathise with your predicament. Old Bert Saunders next door is exactly the same, a complete liability in public. Last Saturday we decided to hoof it up to Karrinyup to do a bit of Christmas shopping. Your Aunt’s rustbucket car was likely to break down on the freeway so Bert eventually offered to drive. Even though we got there at 11am, Bert made such a hash of finding a parking spot that it was close to lunchtime before we physically entered the shopping centre. Your Aunt was out at 6am power walking so One was famished and suggested we eat first then shop after. Of course, Bert didn’t bother to warn your Aunt that he had actually packed himself — and only himself, mind — a few rounds of sandwiches and a flask of tea. One gets that we are in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis but Bert is not short of a bob or two, he’s just miserly to his core. So your Aunt ordered One’s own salad wrap and had to sit there with a man who was effectively picnicking! But that wasn’t the only embarrassment your Aunt had to endure on said shopping trip. After a few laps, where we seemed to have simply looped back on our ourselves and never did find the shop we were looking for, Bert settled himself on some communal seating, whipped off his socks and sandals (oh yes, he’s one of those people) and proceeded to rub his bunions in public. Your Aunt quickly fled into Zara to avoid the disgusted looks of fellow shoppers. One even heard a teenage girl gag at the sight of Bert’s gnarly feet. And while waiting for your Aunt in the change room of H&M, he truly put his foot in his mouth by telling a woman who came out of her change room in a party dress to do a little pirouette so her partner could give his opinion, that champagne wasn’t her colour and the length made her legs look stumpy. Mortification doesn’t come close to summing up how your Aunt felt. One had to apologise profusely before making a welcome retreat from the shopping centre. So, indeed, Embarrassed, One truly understands where you are coming from. One would say your solution that you see this person one on one might be the best way to proceed with this friendship for now. Movie dates, at the cinema or at home, would work well as would quiet catch-ups at a restaurant or bar. Maybe she is going through some stuff and that’s the reason why she’s been talking without thinking or maybe it is just her personality. But it doesn’t mean you should completely sacrifice the friendship for, as you say, she does have her good points. And so does Bert. One just needs to dig deeper to find them. Oh, One is joking, Bert. Don’t get the hump again . . .