Bluey passes on lessons for modern-day parenting

Beloved TV show Bluey is often praised for being as popular with parents as their children.

So it is hardly surprising that a new episode about the classic party game pass-the-parcel has started a debate about old-school versus modern parenting and the value of letting children experience disappointment.

The episode centres on Bluey’s next door neighbour, commonly known as Lucky’s dad, who is outraged to learn that modern-day pass-the-parcel includes a prize in every layer so that “everyone gets a prize”. “We’re raising a nation of squibs,” he says, reminiscing over the days when one child won and the others had to “suck it up”.

When Lucky’s dad reverts to the old pass-the-parcel rules of having one big prize at the end for his own son’s birthday party, the children are initially upset. However, over a series of subsequent birthday parties, the children learn to embrace and even request “Lucky’s dad’s rules”, telling themselves “maybe next time” when they miss out on the prize.

The episode appeared to hit a nerve online, with many parents praising the return of the 80s-style parenting they remembered from their own childhood.

“Pass-the-parcel should always be played with Lucky’s dad’s rules,” said one.

“OMG Bluey making the case for a return to 80s pass-the-parcel, I love it,” said another.

One commentator even claimed to have since attended a birthday party where a child asked if pass-the-parcel would be played with “Lucky’s dad’s rules”.

Psychologist Jocelyn Brewer, who is writing a thesis partly about the evolution of parenting styles over the past 30 years, put it this way: “The new ‘pass-the-parcel’ episode of #Bluey is possibly the most complex observation of socio-cultural influences on parenting and growth mindset I have seen squished into 7 minutes.”

Ms Brewer told The West Australian the episode perfectly encapsulated the challenges of modern parenting, honing in on the importance of developing grit and resilience without being judgmental about it.

“Bluey managed to capture key elements of modern Australian society and the challenges of parenthood — the relentlessness, the keeping up with Joneses, the lack of clear guidance on how to get it ‘right’ — and shows the subtle changes in how we interact and connect through things like games played at children’s parties,” she said.

“Bluey . . . resonates as it captures so much nuance of the parenting experience, this episode also captures how parenting and childhood has changed over the last generation — give or take. Nostalgia for our own childhoods and all that they contained, or didn’t in the case of digital technology, has a huge emotional pull, it helps us reflect and re-evaluate what we want for ourselves and our families.”

In the show, the game’s rules are a source of contention for the parents as much as the children. At one point Lucky’s dad appeals to Bluey’s father, Bandit, for support only to be told “where have you been mate” and “this isn’t the eighties”.

Although modern parents are often criticised for “buffering kids from tricky life lessons” Ms Brewer said a blend of old-fashioned and modern parenting could be helpful.

“We want to hold onto aspects of what worked from when we were kids, keeping in mind our experience of being parented probably varies from our parents’ memory of what was going on, and combine it with new approaches and insights,” she said.